?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

"I don't love Phillip," Kim had said.

Shane had looked at her, confused.  He had possessed no idea what to say.

"I'm pretty sure he's got a mistress.  Some girl he's screwing on the set."  Kim had shaken her head.  "It probably doesn't really matter.  I never really loved him." 

The alarm bells had gone off inside Shane's head as he began to realize where this was going.  "Kim," he had warned.

She had reached over and grasped both his hands.  "Shane, look at me," she had insisted.  "I don't love him.  There's only one man I've ever loved, only one man I do love."

He had frozen, not knowing what to say.  Kim had reached up and touched his cheek, much as he had often done to hers.  Unconsciously, he had leaned into her touch.

"We've been such fools, Shane.  Why does it take coming here to make us realize how much we need each other?"

Before he could respond, she had leaned forward, so close that their lips nearly touched.  He had felt her breath on his face and could smell the faint traces of perfume she had put on hours earlier.  He had started to say something, but she kissed him before he could.

The instant their lips touched, he had lost all semblance of conscious thought.  Her soft kiss had given way to more passionate ones, long, probing kisses that left him gasping for air when they broke apart.

"Kim. . . ."  There had been something he wanted to say, but she had buried her hands in his hair and pulled him forward again.  Their lips met again, her kisses desperate.  She tugged at his shirt, pulling it free. 

Their kisses and movements had been frenzied, their long-suppressed desires driving them forward.  Soon, unaware he had even reached for her blouse, let alone removed it, Shane had found himself cupping her breasts, caressing them, as Kim moaned softly.   She had opened his shirt and was tracing a line of fire down his chest.  Her hand had moved lower and she had stroked his length though the fabric of his trousers.

"Oh, Kim," he had gasped.  He had been so hard, anxious to be inside her.  He had leaned forward, pressing her back against the sofa, positioning himself.  He had run his hand along her thigh, pushing her skirt higher.

"Love me, Shane," she had whispered as her arms wrapped around him, pulling him even closer.  "Please love me."

Something in her voice had made him hesitate.  Kim had sounded so desperate, so hurt.  He had looked into her eyes and saw her -- in pain and vulnerable.  In his own mind, an image had flashed -- Kim giving him an envelope just before she walked out on him.

It had been like a cascade of ice washed over him.  He had jerked back, breaking her hold on him.  Gasping for breath and fighting his near-overwhelming need for her, he had finally managed to find words.

"I can't."

"Shane, please," Kim had begged, trying to pull him back to her.

He had managed to pull himself from the couch.  Standing there, his shirt open, his erection straining against his trousers, he had repeated, "I can't.  I just can't."

She had sat up.  "You want me, Shane.  Don't deny it."

"I . . . I won't."  He had tried to turn away, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from her.  Kim had looked so small, so fragile.  Her light eyes, illuminated by the fire, were wet with tears, and he desperately wanted to take away her pain.  "I do want you, Kim.  I want you so much, I can't bear it.  But I can't.  It's not right."

"Why?" she had demanded.  "Because I'm married?"

"Yes, because you're married, but more because I know you, Kim.  You're hurting right now.  You're hurt and vulnerable, and you're doing what you always do."  He had known his next words would sound harsh, but he had said them anyway.  "I won't be another Cal, another Lawrence."

Her face had flushed red, and he saw her anger growing.  "How dare you," she had hissed, her voice rising.  "How dare you compare this to them."  She had shaken her head, but her voice had softened.  "Don't you understand?  You're the man I love.  The man I've always loved."

He had smiled sadly.  What she was saying was true, and he could have said the same thing about her.  "I know, Kim, and I'll always love you."  But he couldn't have made love to her.  The pain had still been there.  Shane had turned and looked at the mantle, trying to find the words.  "When . . .  when you left, Kim, I just wanted to curl up and die.  I've never felt pain so strong, so overwhelming.  If it happened again, I don't think -- no, I know I wouldn't survive."

She had risen from the couch and had approached him.  He could tell because she spoke from close behind him.  "But I wouldn't leave you.  I shouldn't have left before; I know that now."

Shane had shaken his head.  "You say that now, but you said that before, when you came back the first time."  He had felt her hand on his shoulder and he stepped forward, away from her touch.  "Maybe you'll be here tomorrow, but what about the end of the week?  Or are you just going to stay here and never go back to Phillip, never go back to your life and work in LA?"

"We can make it work," she had insisted.

"Can we?" he had asked.  "What about when I go back in the field?  You said everything you needed to say earlier.  You couldn't take it if I disappeared again -- or worse."

Kim had stepped around him and looked him in the eyes.  Tears were running down her cheeks and it had killed him to hurt her more than she already was.  "We love each other, Shane.  That should be enough." 

She had placed her palms on his chest, her touch so light, so soft, that he began to waver.  Wouldn't it be enough?  Wasn't love all that mattered?  Kim had run her hands down his chest and reached for his belt.  She had begun unbuckling it as she knelt in front of him.  Shane's own breath had been coming in half-gasps and he had closed his eyes.  He had wanted so desperately to give in. 

But there had still been the pain.

This time, he had pulled away for good.  "I can't, Kim," he had said, backing away from her.  "I'm sorry, but I just can't."  He had spun around and headed for the front door.  He had grabbed his car keys and pulled on his coat, not even bothering to button his shirt.  He had ignored the sound of Kim calling his name from the sitting room as he had opened the door and rushed into the cold night.

Then he had been in his car racing away from his home.  He had no idea where he was going; he had just driven into the darkness.

A few hours later, he had pulled the car to a stop.  In the dark, it had taken him a few minutes to realize where he was -- a cliff overlooking the Bristol Channel.  Stepping into the night air, he had smelled the salt in the air and heard the waves far below, even though he could not see the water in the darkness.  Why had he gone there of all places?  Why had he gone to the place where his parents had drowned?

Maybe Shane had been looking for guidance, but he knew better than to put his faith in ghosts. He had slumped against the car, sinking to the ground, and had run his hands through his hair over and over.  For the next few hours, he had sat there in the cold and darkness.  He had listened to the water, replayed the scene at Donovan Manor in his head, and tried to convince himself that he had done the right thing.  Kim was lost and seeking comfort the only way she knew; he would have only hurt her more if he had taken advantage of her.

More than anything, though, he had felt the pain.  It had flooded him, as if a dam inside of him had burst.  Despite his efforts to wall it off, he had never overcome the pain.  Kim had left him.  Kim had lied to him.  Kim had nearly destroyed him.  He couldn't endure that pain again, even if it meant never being able to love her.  He had to push it -- and her -- away.

That had been his choice.

He had remained on the cliff until close to dawn, until there were just enough rays of light that he could see the waters below.  Then he had gotten into the car and driven the more than two hours back to his home.

When he arrived, his hair disheveled and his clothing a mess, Kim had assumed the worst.  She had looked at him through red-rimmed eyes and said, "You bastard."  Then she had turned and walked away.

He had made no attempt to correct her assumption.  It was better that way, he had thought.  Let her think he had found his way into another woman's bed; Kim's anger and pride would prevent a repeat of that night's events.  It had worked.  Kim had kept her distance for the rest of the visit, behaving so coldly that even Jeannie asked why mommy "was sad."  Shane had answered that mommy missed Phillip, and had ignored Kim's icy glare.  And when they left a few days later, Shane missed his children greatly but had also felt a sense of relief. 

Over time, he and Kim had regained some of their friendship, but that night had destroyed any chance for anything else.  In his mind, he pictured her as she had been that night, as he cupped her breasts.  He could see her skin glowing soft in the light from the fireplace, could feel the warmth of her body against him, could hear her soft, passionate moans.

The image of Kim dissolved, and Shane found himself once again staring into the darkness.  It was funny how he had grown so accustomed to the dark.  And if he died during his escape attempt -- the most likely outcome -- the darkness would be permanent.

It could have been so different.  How he longed to go back to that night.  What if he had stayed?  What if he had relented?  What if he had been willing to risk the pain?

He could almost feel Kim beneath him as they made love on the sofa.  It would have been desperate and fast, anything but gentle, as they released years of pent-up desire.  But then he would have taken her to her room -- the room where they first made love 10 years earlier -- and they would have made love tenderly until the sun rose.  That part was so clear in his mind.

After that?  He had no idea.  Maybe they would have found a way.  Maybe Kim and the children would have stayed in England.  Or maybe he would have gone to Los Angeles with them, making that his base long enough to complete his final field missions before his promotion brought him back to Europe.  None of those missions had been dangerous and only a year passed before the promotion came through.

If he had just been willing to risk the pain.

Maybe it would have all been different.  Maybe he wouldn't have failed his children.  Maybe Jeannie would have known her father like Andrew had, so his absences would not have been as destructive.  Maybe Andrew . . . well, Andrew would have probably made a lot of the same choices.  Some, but maybe not all.  Maybe he and Kim would even have had more children.  Maybe he would have had years of happiness with his true love.

And maybe if things had been different, Shane would not be in this cell.  No.  There was no maybe about that.  There might have been a mission to Costa Blanca, but it would have been assigned to a field agent.  Shane would never have had reason to do it personally.

Maybe. 

Right now, his life seemed to consist entirely of maybes.

"You're a fool, Shane Donovan," he muttered.

A memory came unbidden.  He and Kim together in bed and a poem.  Browning.  He laughed when he thought about how he had butchered the poem that night, but Kim had never said anything; she had just leaned against him, both of them feeling contented and loved.

Today, however, it was the end of that poem that came to mind.  It just seemed so fitting.

    I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
    With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
    Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
    I shall but love thee better after death.

A shadow cut off the light at the base of the door and he heard movement outside.  Keys jostled and the door groaned as it opened.  A guard, his AK-47 aimed at Shane, motioned him into the corridor.  "Venga aquí."

Shane rose, started for the door and tried to put his regrets out of his mind.  He could spend an entire lifetime thinking "maybe" things could have been different, and it would change nothing.  He had made his choices thinking they were right when they were made, and those choices all led to this place and time.

Now Shane would live or die with the consequences.

Comments

( 27 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Jan. 18th, 2011 08:50 pm (UTC)
This chapter and the one before are awesome! I love the descriptive detail and the rawness of Shane's pain. When she said "I don't love Phillip", I almost fell over! This also explains alot of her anger when he pops up in 2010 begging for another chance.
jwsel
Jan. 18th, 2011 09:36 pm (UTC)
Thanks very much. I'm thrilled you liked these scenes. The "regrets" scenes are some of my personal favorites, and I'm glad that Shane's pain came through.

I had never really thought about this incident explaining Kim's 2010 anger, but that may be because I think the Shane/Kim reunion in this story would be quite different from how it was on the show. There are so many unresolved issues between these two that this incident will be only one of the things they need to address. I have dropped a few mentions of 1995 in Kim's thoughts, because I think it's a painful memory for her as well.

Of course, the issue can't be addressed unless Shane survives his escape attempt.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 23rd, 2011 08:02 pm (UTC)
This chapter and the previous one are the coldest, most emotionally bereft scenes I’ve ever read or seen between these two characters. Shane comes across as dead inside. You say he is in pain but I don’t feel it when you have him describing the mission he was on which was described with plenty of detail, but not an iota of compassion, not even for the two female agents. The description you wrote is the way I’d imagine Victor telling it. In fact, your version of Shane reminds me more of him that it does of any writer’s take on Shane. And his assumptions about the mission were lame. If you actually expect me to buy Shane ignoring the possible consequences of taking two women anywhere near a Russian mafia figure into human trafficking, Victor is going to wipe the floor with him.

And how did making Shane’s mission so horrific advance your plot or characters? To rob Shane of his humanity? Or, based on the way you write both characters, to make Kim realize she hasn’t grasped Shane’s true issues and that she is partially responsible for his emotional problems? That is the only reason I can see. And the idea that Kimberly Brady needs someone to show her how appalling life can be is ludicrous, along with trying to get me to believe that Jeannie knows nothing about Victor, even though he is her uncle’s biological father.

No matter what Kim and Shane did to each other over the years, their feelings for each other were always blatantly obvious, along with their pride and stubbornness. I don’t recognize these people and they are sure not Kim and Shane Donovan.

At the end of this chapter you have Shane sitting by himself in the cold and I’m guessing the idea was to let us see his pain? I didn’t. He comes across as a spoiled teenager rather than a highly intelligent, intuitive mature adult. There is not a single thought to Kim’s MPD or the way it might have affected her to behave as she did. No questions about Philip’s behavior despite her telling him Philip is cheating on her or his experience knowing how men have used her. This Shane is blind, even more selfish than Philip and more emotionally stunted than Victor and having Kimberly beg him for sex makes me wonder if you like either character.

jwsel
Jan. 24th, 2011 12:47 am (UTC)
Thanks for the comment and the different perspective on these scenes. This response will probably be a couple of posts because of its length, but I wanted to deal fully with your comments.

I will be the first person to admit that I probably have a different take on Shane and Kim from most authors, but I don't think that means I don't like them. I wouldn't have written 300 pages of this fanfic so far if I didn't like Shane and Kim. I think they are fascinating and complex characters who had a lot of flaws and, at times, engaged in destructive behaviors.

As for your comments on Shane's character, you say that he comes across as emotionally stunted and selfish. I don't disagree. A man who rejects the woman he truly loves because it is too painful to continue fighting for her is emotionally stunted. A man who fails to understand why Kim would be hurt by his having an ex-lover living in their house is selfish. And a man who is unwilling to forgive his wife for moving on with her life when he was thought dead is probably both.

Likewise, when you say Shane seems dead inside, I think you're 100 % right. Shane is emotionally dead here. That's how he avoids having to deal with the horrific things he sees and with the emotional pain they bring. For that reason, he can only describe the mission by suppressing his emotions. Yes, it's cold, but he cannot deal with it any other way. And when Kim confronts him by saying that he cannot truly bury his emotions, he responds by saying that he can't "afford to feel."

I also was trying to use his emotionless way of describing the mission to help explain how he responds to Kim. Just as Shane suppresses emotions to avoid dealing with the pain of his job, he also suppresses his emotions to avoid emotional pain in his relationships.

Does that make Shane more like Phillip or Victor? I don't know. But I do think it can be shown to be consistent with Shane's actions on the show. Shane is someone who was able to never mourn the death of his first wife or the apparent death of the parents he loved dearly. In many of his exchanges with Kim, when he is confronted with a painful aspect of their relationship, his response is to turn cold and unemotional. Just a few examples are: in 1985 when he is about to leave for Sweden and she has Hart Bennett in her apartment; in 1986 when he finds out that Kim contemplated an abortion; and in 1990, when he finds out that Kim deceived him about Jeannie's paternity.

In the period after Kim leaves, Shane readily admits that he responded to losing Kim by suppressing his feelings. As he tells Kayla, he always thought emotions made him weak and vulnerable, and while Kim helped him see differently(as did Kayla to a lesser extent), I think the failure of those relationships causes Shane to revert to that belief. While there are times when he lets loose with his emotions, such as when he angrily confronts Kim about Victor in 1986 or when she gives him the ultimatum about Gabrielle in 1988, I see those as extremely painful experiences for Shane. And I think that contributes to his telling Kayla in 1991 that emotional pain is far worse than physical pain. For Shane, repressing his emotions is a much easier -- though far more unhealthy -- coping mechanism.

I also should add that, by the 1995 scene, he has already made the decision to push Kim away three previous times -- in 1990 when she became pregnant, in 1991 when he chose Kayla, and in 1992 when he pushed her to Phillip. Does he love Kim? Absolutely. He admits that. He loves her and he wants to make love to her desperately. But Shane also knows that if he gives in to those feelings, he will have to risk re-experiencing the kind of pain he experienced when Kim left. And that is too hard for him. Shane probably felt that was his only way to survive. John calls it cowardice. But whatever it is, it leads Shane to reject Kim this final time and to flee Donovan Manor because he cannot face dealing with the emotional reality of their relationship.

Edited at 2011-01-24 01:28 am (UTC)
(Anonymous)
Jan. 24th, 2011 03:06 am (UTC)
Your Shane is not just stunted emotionally. He’s lost his memory too because no matter how emotionally handicapped the man was, he’d never include in his description of the mission the part about two female agents being gang-raped, not to the woman he knows was abused her entire childhood. When it came to sex, Shane was very careful with Kimberly, which is the entire reason she opened up to him in the first place.

When I said your Shane is like Victor, I meant he is mindlessly cruel. When he was angry, Shane could be cruel too, but what you wrote when he is describing the mission is not such a case. He was not lashing out at that point. If you’re saying that Shane is dead inside you are headed down a slippery slope.

You can’t take a character to such depths and bring him back with no consequences and the man in the cell is Costa Blanca hasn’t had to seriously deal with what that sort of emotional death would do to a person. I see you taking Andrew there but I wonder if you have the guts to really go the distance because what you are doing to him and his father will land them in the same boat as EJ, except that EJ was raised with values that were relative. Shane was not. A man with a conscious such as Shane who crosses the line beyond what he understands society would find acceptable will have to deal with the physiological fallout of his behavior. Is that where you are headed? Because that is not direction that will lead to me believing Shane is a pragmatist.

I want to add that if you expect me to buy Shane as a world class spy, you cannot give him an out when he doesn’t take Kimberly’s entire past into consideration, whether he was around for it or not. Besides what he does for a living, he would be concerned about his children and therefore, their mother’s emotional stability.

When you describe Shane, I see you taking bits and pieces of his past and trying to use all of them, even the ones that don’t fit into his personality as a whole. The result is a character I don’t recognize.
jwsel
Jan. 24th, 2011 04:02 am (UTC)
I will respond more when I have some more time, but I wanted to respond briefly to the idea that Shane wouldn't mention the rape to Kimberly because of her own past.

Perhaps this reflects a significant difference in how we see Kim, but I don't think she is a shrinking violet. I know a lot of authors treat Kim as very fragile about abuse issues, but I don't see how that could be the case when she dealt with abuse victims on a daily basis. By the time of this scene, as Shane knows, Kim has spent the better part of 10 years counseling abuse victims. Isn't there even a scene where Shane comments on how horrible people can be to one another and Kim says something like "I see it everyday in my job," to which Shane responds along the lines of "yes, I supposed you do."

So I think Kim has shown an ability to handle mention of abuse and rape, and, thus, I don't agree that Shane would be insensitive for mentioning rape to Kim. In fact, I think Kim would be rather offended if she felt Shane couldn't be frank with her because he feels the need to protect her from bad memories.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 25th, 2011 01:57 am (UTC)
This isn’t about Kim’s strength of will. This is about Shane and the way he treated her, and why it’s necessary to the plot or characterizations to even add something this horrific to the story. Maybe there is a reason but I haven't seen it yet so it seems gratuitous. And your quote only serves to prove the subject wasn’t something they discussed in graphic detail. Shane always respected Kim’s vulnerabilities, which is something else missing from this story, in regards to all the characters.

Just because a person is able to discuss a subject doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. And Kim discussing issues with her clients is a very different matter than her discussing them with the man she is intimate with. There are barriers when one is working with a client that don't (or shouldn't) exist with one's lover and you seem to be suggesting that therapists don't have issues if they counsel others which is simply not the case.

With the writing as uneven as it been over the years, I’m sure you can come up with specific examples to justify practically any character trait you decide to use but fashioning a character in that way doesn’t create someone with quirks and depth to his personality but a disjointed muddle who increasingly makes me roll my eyes and reread in disbelief. If this is your vision of the character, great but he bears no resemblance to the Shane I watched and that is saying a lot after seeing him on screen under the current régime.

Kim a shrinking violet? Please post links to those stories. This I have to read.
jwsel
Jan. 25th, 2011 04:36 am (UTC)
Sorry, another long response that probably will have to be posted in two parts.

I think you probably might be best off by stopping reading if you keep rolling your eyes and read in disbelief. It seems obvious that we have different opinions about Shane.

I see Shane as someone who can compartmentalize his emotions. During the good times with Kim, he was romantic, loving, and even open about his feelings. There are not many opportunities in the story to provide that side of Shane because: (1) the story is set in 2010 and the good times with Kim occurred more than 20 years earlier; and (2) Shane's locked in prison without much of a sounding board. Nonetheless, I've tried to provide some reminders of that Shane in some of the dreams, but without littering the story with gratuitous flashbacks that don't advance the plot, there are limits in how much of those "good times" can be shown.

During the bad times -- with Kim and without Kim -- Shane could be cold and unemotional. And his "mission-first" mentality, especially without Kim, also made him shut down his emotions. Thus, for instance, when people he knew were in trouble, he could talk about satisfying his mission's "objectives" (as in Alamainia). He even had to be convinced by Steve to let Jericho go in order to save Marcus. Had Steve not been there, Shane would have almost certainly done nothing to save Marcus, because it would have put his mission objectives -- catching Jericho -- at risk.

Those are very different sides of the same character and they are part of why I find Shane so fascinating.

So let's look at this story and consider which side of Shane has become dominant. Most of the Shane we see is in 2010. By that time, he is 20 years removed from his marriage to Kim and has ascended to the pinnacle of the ISA. One of the questions I asked myself is what kind of emotional toll does that kind of work have on a man like Shane, especially when he has no real emotional counter-balance like his relationship with Kim provided? I don't think someone can rise to the top of an organization like the ISA if he allows emotions to rule him. Someone in Shane's position has to make hard choices. People's lives get put at risk. Agents die. That's the nature of the job.

You seem to reject the possibility that Shane would put a woman at risk of being raped. But what if that risk is offset by the potential benefit of stopping a despot or terrorist from obtaining weapons-grade plutonium that could kill thousands? Shane was willing -- though it tormented him -- to put Kim at risk of something bad happening at Bronski's hands because the possible end result was capturing Stefano and getting the final prism. I don't think it's that much of a stretch to think that, as time went on and the missions became harder, Shane had to continue to make those types of choices and he tried to cope by trying to separate himself emotionally from the decisions.

That does not mean the job is easy if he can compartmentalize his emotions. I thought it was pretty clear from his thoughts about the 1995 mission that what happened left him deeply troubled. He can't describe what went wrong without taking a drink. He admits to himself that the job is destroying him. He cannot even describe the mission until he distances himself from the events by describing them in a completely unemotional tone and he convinces himself that he cannot afford to feel his emotions.

Is that different from the Shane we saw in, say, 1986? Mostly. There were a few occasions when the cold and unemotional side came out. However, in 1995, it's nine years later. Shane is long removed from his relationship with Kim. He has pretty much made the ISA his life, with the sole exception being Andrew and Jeannie. However, life in the ISA has consequences for his relationships with them also, particularly with Jeannie.

(cont'd)
jwsel
Jan. 25th, 2011 04:36 am (UTC)
(continued)

Now, you ask how it serves the plot for Shane to mention the gang rape or even for that to have occurred. The reason is that something caused a trained ISA agent to break, resulting in the deaths of three agents and Shane nearly dying. I don't think the one sentence mention of a gang rape was gratuitous to the plot; it explained why the agent broke. And I still don't understand why Shane would think the words "gang rape" would be so difficult for Kim to hear? She wanted to know what happened on the mission and Shane told her. He didn't provide graphic details. He just said what happened in pretty simple terms. How else could he explain to her how things had gone so wrong? (I also don't recall Kim struggling when the subject of Jennifer's rape came up in 1991; Kim did work with Shane to try to find evidence to help nail Lawrence for that rape. So I just don't see why Shane would avoid mentioning that a rape occurred.)

Nor do I understand how those words disrespect Kim's vulnerabilities -- not that I know what those must be in 1995 (let alone in 2010). Do you mean her abuse as a child? Her MPD? I know a lot of Shane and Kim fans -- and a lot of authors -- use those emotional traumas to define Kim. I don't. I think they are important aspects of who she is, and contribute to who she is in this story, but I think Kim is much more than "abuse survivor," and reducing her to someone defined and controlled by those experiences does a disservice to the character. She is far more complex than that.

I suspect that also is what you mean when you mention characters not responding to vulnerabilities. I assume you primarily mean that the characters interacting with Kim in 2010 are not dwelling on her abuse and MPD. You're right. As Marlena's thoughts previously explained, the MPD changed Kim and contributed to who she is in 2010, but generally those experiences are in Kim's past. I don't see why characters would raise those issues nearly 20 years after the MPD and nearly 40 years after her abuse. I think the characters are being far more sensitive to her current vulnerability, namely her struggle with the cancer. But I also think they know Kim well enough to know that the last thing she would want is for them to treat her as an invalid or with pity.

Ultimately, I suspect our views of the characters and how they developed in the 18 years after leaving Salem are just very different. I don't think there is a "right" or "wrong" way to fill in that 18-year gap. I believe my characterizations are true to Shane's and Kim's history and, as you seem to acknowledge, the writing on the show provides support for a lot of different opinions about Shane's character traits. I don't think this Shane is a disjointed muddle. I think he is the character who left Salem in 1992, who: (1) made his job his priority even though it has had profound effects on both his personality and his relationships (such as with Jeannie); and (2) deliberately chose a life of avoiding the risk of emotional pain, even though it meant losing his true love. It is only now that he is in prison and facing his likely death in 2010 that he is able to reflect on the choices he has made. And it is quite possible that this experience and these self-reflections will have an effect on the Shane who eventually returns to Salem.

You obviously disagree, and that is definitely your prerogative. However, I also don't see why you have read close to 300 pages of this fic if you find the characterizations so lacking and unrecognizable.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 27th, 2011 01:22 am (UTC)
I suspect that also is what you mean when you mention characters not responding to vulnerabilities. I assume you primarily mean that the characters interacting with Kim in 2010 are not dwelling on her abuse and MPD

Your assumption is incorrect. This is not what I mean at all and is in fact the crux of the situation with how you write Shane, Kimberly and everyone else in the story. What I’m speaking of vulnerability, I’m referring to how a person’s soul is the driving force in their personality, even when the character doesn’t allow anyone else to share that part of himself. In other words, something a reader sees, or those closest to the character.

In striving to show Shane’ s ability to compartmentalize his emotions you’ve stripped him of his vulnerability and instead of us seeing Shane acting cold to cover his pain, you’ve written a character that is cold. There is a huge difference, and not just in how he behaves, but how he can behave. If you cripple a man’s soul there will be severe consequences to his psyche over time and there is no way for Shane to compartmentalize that without going mad or worse, becoming that which he spent years fighting.

There is a fine line between making a character tragic and merely ugly and the key ingredient is vulnerability.

One of the questions I asked myself is what kind of emotional toll does that kind of work have on a man like Shane, especially when he has no real emotional counter- top of an organization like the ISA if he allows emotions to rule him. Someone in Shane's position has to make hard choices. People's lives get put at risk. Agents die. That's the nature of the job.

And yet you are also trying to say that this kind of emotional toll, while it allows him to make difficult decisions has few costs outside of having lost Kim, as though the emotional, giving part of him was simply dormant. But the truth is that behavior such as this over a long period of time is the stuff villains are made of. The man you’ve described is Victor.

Villains are not born after all, but created slowly as their souls erode away by shutting off what they feel for their own benefit or that of mankind.

It is only now that he is in prison and facing his likely death in 2010 that he is able to reflect on the choices he has made. And it is quite possible that this experience and these self-reflections will have an effect on the Shane who eventually returns to Salem.

So after having spent fifteen years compartmentalizing his emotions, you expect your readers to believe that this is the catalyst for Shane’s transformation from cold and unfeeling to seeing his mistakes? Where is the epiphany? Where is the blinding moment of painful understanding that rips Shane down to the core of his soul and forces him to understand what a robot he’s become? How he’s become his enemy? I must have missed that part of the story.

generally those experiences are in Kim's past. I don't see why characters would raise those issues nearly 20 years after the MPD and nearly 40 years after her abuse.

But what Victor did to Shane and Kim 25 years ago is still important enough that no one in the family wants their kids to know the guy exists or how he is connected to them, not to mention Kim’s lies, also 20 years in the past continue to be discussed and dissected. Distinctions such as those are hard to ignore.

You obviously disagree, and that is definitely your prerogative. However, I also don't see why you have read close to 300 pages of this fic if you find the characterizations so lacking and unrecognizable.

A common human failing, curiosity. And I’ve read plenty of stories over the years I wasn’t particularly fond of or that I agreed with and always found it a valid learning experience.
jwsel
Jan. 28th, 2011 11:04 pm (UTC)
I think it is rather pointless to try to respond to you when you make such a blanket statement that all of the characters in this story lack vulnerability, but I am going to respond anyway. While I believe you are entitled to your opinion, I disagree with that fundamental precept, which probably makes it impossible to have a meaningful discussion of the subject. Nonetheless, here goes (in two parts).

Frankly, if you think Shane -- and the other characters -- have displayed no vulnerability, there is little I can do to change your mind. I have always thought that, among others, the scenes depicting his thoughts about Jeannie and Kim, his dreams and nightmares, and the three regrets scenes showed Shane to be vulnerable and to have very significant struggles with the choices he has made during his life. John's scene describing Shane's drunken revelations is another example. Does Shane try to bury his emotions? Undoubtedly. But I don't think he is the emotionless monster you make him out to be.

In striving to show Shane’ s ability to compartmentalize his emotions you’ve stripped him of his vulnerability and instead of us seeing Shane acting cold to cover his pain, you’ve written a character that is cold. There is a huge difference, and not just in how he behaves, but how he can behave. If you cripple a man’s soul there will be severe consequences to his psyche over time and there is no way for Shane to compartmentalize that without going mad or worse, becoming that which he spent years fighting.

Again, we must interpret the scene differently. Shane "acted" cold when he suppressed his emotions so he could describe the mission. I'm not sure how you missed that when Shane's reflections noted: (1) Kim could see how troubled he was (something Shane would only think if he actually was troubled); (2) he had to distance himself emotionally just so he could describe the mission; (3) Shane could not describe the mission without drinking;(4) Shane admitted that the job was destroying him (anticipating what he expected Kim to say); and (5) Kim, who knows Shane better than anyone, expressly points out that Shane cannot truly bury his feelings. I don't know how those references could be read as anything other than evidence that Shane is "acting" cold to cover his pain. In fact, if Shane had thought about how tortured he was from the mission, you would have probably claimed he was being a spoiled brat like you did when he thought about the pain he was feeling over Kim.

Likewise, in Shane's interactions with Kim, he comes very close to giving in to her. He wants to give in to her, but he breaks away when he remembers the very painful experience of her walking out on him in 1990. Even then, he is tempted to give in, wants desperately to take away her pain, and tells her that he wants her so much he can't bear it. I would think that most readers would see some emotion and vulnerability in that exchange. But Shane also is afraid. He fears that Kim's behavior is similar to the behavior that hurt him -- her sleeping with men (Cal and Lawrence) because she was hurt and in pain -- and he does not want to play that role. Then he flees and spends hours making a critical decision -- does he push Kim away for good or does he pursue their love, knowing that it requires him to risk being hurt again like he was when she left him. IMO, Shane made the coward's choice, just as he did when he chose Kayla over Kim. He made the safe choice where he won't be hurt, but also will never provide anything close to the rewards of true love.

I am not sure how those scenes fail to convey Shane's emotion and vulnerability, but, then again, I'm just the author.

And yet you are also trying to say that this kind of emotional toll, while it allows him to make difficult decisions has few costs outside of having lost Kim, as though the emotional, giving part of him was simply dormant.

I don't think the emotional toll had few costs outside of having lost Kim. Among other additional things, it has left him very much alone and mostly unloved for the past 18 years, destroyed his relationships with Jeannie and Eve, and, as he is realizing now, has helped push Andrew down a road that Shane regrets. I'm not sure what more he could lose.
jwsel
Jan. 28th, 2011 11:06 pm (UTC)
(cont'd)

Nor do I think Shane's emotional, giving part is completely dormant. It does come out at times. Shane tries to connect with his children -- as in his call to Jeannie at the beginning of the story and the "regrets" scene when he went to her soccer game -- but circumstances often interfere. Shane also had re-established some form of friendship with Kim over their shared concern for Andrew during the war. I have tried to make it clear that Shane loves every member of his family; his problem is that he has failed to make them his priority and merely loving them from a distance is not enough.

So after having spent fifteen years compartmentalizing his emotions, you expect your readers to believe that this is the catalyst for Shane’s transformation from cold and unfeeling to seeing his mistakes? Where is the epiphany? Where is the blinding moment of painful understanding that rips Shane down to the core of his soul and forces him to understand what a robot he’s become? How he’s become his enemy? I must have missed that part of the story.

Why must there be a single moment that provides an epiphany? Why can't being locked in the dark and tortured for a year cause a gradual reflection about the mistakes he has made in his life? Shane has very little to do during his captivity but think. Isn't it logical that he might think: "What did I do wrong that landed me here? How might I have done things different?"

And if there must be a single trigger, Shane's reflections are all in anticipation of his escape attempt, which he believes will probably result in his death. So, if you need a moment of epiphany, that could be it -- the moment that Shane realizes he will probably die when he tries to escape, which causes him to reflect on his life.

But what Victor did to Shane and Kim 25 years ago is still important enough that no one in the family wants their kids to know the guy exists or how he is connected to them, not to mention Kim’s lies, also 20 years in the past continue to be discussed and dissected. Distinctions such as those are hard to ignore.

Well, Kim's lies are central to the final collapse of their marriage, so it's not surprising that both Shane and Kim, as they think back to the end of their relationship, would reflect on that. There is a logical reason for those thoughts to arise. Kim's abuse at the hands of Uncle Eric and her MPD were not so directly connected to their break-up. (Some people will say that Kim's abuse is always a contributing factor to her actions, and others will say that her abuse excuses those actions, but I don't think Kim or Shane would think about the collapse of their marriage in 1990 and think "that had to do with Kim's abuse" (let alone the MPD that did not manifest itself until a year later). It is far more likely that they would think the collapse of their marriage was tied to more direct causes, such as "Kim getting pregnant by Cal, Kim lying about paternity, Shane coldly pushing her away, Kim walking out, and Kim filing for divorce." There is a logical difference.

As for Victor, Kim didn't dwell on Victor. Her recollections of the events of 25 years came up when Jeannie mentioned him. Is that surprising that she would recall how he nearly ruined her life and publicized her past as a prostitute? That happens to be one of the secrets she has tried to keep from her children. Again, I don't think it is too hard to understand why.

And, for the record, if someone mentioned Uncle Eric in Kim's presence, I'm sure she would think about the abuse. It just hasn't come up.

I also am not sure why it's so shocking that Kim didn't tell Jeannie about Victor. What do you expect her to have said? I slept with Victor and thought he was Andrew's father, but he wasn't? Is that something that she thinks Andrew should know? Kim didn't think Jeannie needed to know about the doubts regarding her paternity and Cal, because there was no point as they knew Jeannie was Shane's daughter. Unfortunately, the topic could not be avoided because Andrew had enough memories of Cal to bring it up.

(tbc)
jwsel
Jan. 28th, 2011 11:07 pm (UTC)
(cont'd)

The only people with whom Jeannie has contact who know about the paternity issues with Victor are her parents, her aunt and uncles, and Caroline. I don't think it is too unbelievable that none of them would have said, "Oh, by the way, did you know your mom slept with another man and we thought he was Andrew's father for awhile, but then it turned out Shane was the daddy?"

Moreover, regarding Victor's relationship to Bo, again, I'm not sure why that is something Jeannie necessarily must know. Jeannie has spent very little time in Salem during her life, so she doesn't know much about its residents. And I can see two possibilities for why none of the family members told her that Bo is Victor's son, not Shawn's. First, it's possible that Kim did not want her children to think Caroline was a slut, so she never mentioned her mom having an affair while married. Second, even if Kim had told the kids that Bo had a different father, she very well could have not mentioned Victor's name. That Bo is a Kiriakis would have little import on Jeannie's life.

None of that means that Jeannie isn't going to learn a few new things about her family during her summer in Salem. And, imo, it would be a lot less fun if Jeannie knew all the family secrets before she gets there.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 29th, 2011 07:30 pm (UTC)
Likewise, when you say Shane seems dead inside, I think you're 100 % right. Shane is emotionally dead here. That's how he avoids having to deal with the horrific things he sees and with the emotional pain they bring.

During the bad times -- with Kim and without Kim -- Shane could be cold and unemotional.


These are your words. So is he cold? Or just acting cold? Because neither of these comments suggest the latter.

A person’s vulnerability is unique. It is to a large degree the product of their belief system and upbringing. That is one of the reasons Shane got along so well with the Bradys and Roman because they shared common values; good and evil are absolute, not relative, the end doesn’t justify the means, not to mention the way these men treated women. They protected them, even when the women were not happy with that situation. If a man sells or loses those principals that guide his life, there will be consequences in the way he behaves. I said I don’t recognize this man as Shane, and that is partially because he’s not protective and he believes suddenly the ends do justify the means, and worst of all for me, he uses own personal pain over Kimberly’s lies to justify what he does to his family for years.

I just don’t see anything tragic about that. It’s rather pathetic.

In fact, if Shane had thought about how tortured he was from the mission, you would have probably claimed he was being a spoiled brat like you did when he thought about the pain he was feeling over Kim.

That would have depended on how you wrote it. I said he was acting like a spoiled brat because when he was on that cliff, it was all about him.

Kim was lost and seeking comfort the only way she knew; he would have only hurt her more if he had taken advantage of her.

This is the only single thought he has after he rejects Kim about the other person in the situation and he immediately tells himself he did the right thing by not giving into her because he would have hurt her. There are no thoughts about him being responsible in the least for her feeling this way (despite John’s insistence to Andrew that is the way Shane reacts, even when he couldn’t possibly have control over the situation.). There is no desire to protect her or find out why. There is no sense to me he is more concerned about her than he is about himself.

In regards to the mission, if you’d written him being tortured over it because he’d felt responsible for what happened to the rest of his team, because he’s flawed and allowing someone else to dictate his principles, then yes, that would have made a big difference. You have him showing regrets over the years but with no true insight into why he allowed any of it to happen.

Why must there be a single moment that provides an epiphany?

Because you’re writing drama, not a biography or documentary and this is the all-defining moment you’ve supposedly been working up to.

And if there must be a single trigger, Shane's reflections are all in anticipation of his escape attempt, which he believes will probably result in his death. So, if you need a moment of epiphany, that could be it -- the moment that Shane realizes he will probably die when he tries to escape, which causes him to reflect on his life.

That was supposed to move me to tears? You even used Browning and still it lacked emotion because this Shane has so little of it in his soul. Where is the renaissance man of so many talents, with the emotional depths to tempt Kimberly Donovan out of her shell? The man who looked through one end of the telescope at a hooker and fell in love? There is no depth to that scene or the man in it, no pathos. I feel not the least bit sorry for what this man is about to risk losing, or that he might die.


(Anonymous)
Jan. 29th, 2011 07:36 pm (UTC)
I haven't done two at a time so I hope I did this correctly and it ends up in the right place. If not, please move it.

(cont)

It is far more likely that they would think the collapse of their marriage was tied to more direct causes, such as "Kim getting pregnant by Cal

Well, that’s an attempt at convincing me they’re so shallow, they’d only look at actions and immediate reasons instead of the underlying factors for the behavior despite the fact both of them work in fields where psychology is a must.

And I love when people use the word logic when describing how people behave about a breakup. That’s quite funny.

And I can see two possibilities for why none of the family members told her that Bo is Victor's son, not Shawn's. First, it's possible that Kim did not want her children to think Caroline was a slut, so she never mentioned her mom having an affair while married. Second, even if Kim had told the kids that Bo had a different father, she very well could have not mentioned Victor's name. That Bo is a Kiriakis would have little import on Jeannie's life.

You come back to Kim both times as being the only one who could tell her. There is no one else in this family? Jeannie has no cousins? And what does living outside of Salem have to do with her not knowing? Not to mention the most important reason, it’s not a secret. Everyone knows, especially Bo and Hope’s children. If nothing else, she grew up with Stephanie who came to Salem four years ago and was around when Philip and Victor went after custody of Clair, when Bo suppressed evidence on Philip’s behalf because Victor begged him and which John nailed him for at Bo and Hope’s vow renewal ceremony, not to mention Stephanie was engaged to Philip a year before Kim got cancer and almost died because of it. Unless you think your readers are going to believe having grown up together, Jeannie and Stephanie don’t talk and share stuff. I sure don’t.

And I just can’t resist. Having an affair in this day and age makes a woman a slut? Seriously, Jeannie grew up in Malibu, the playground of Hollywood’s decadent elite where having an affair is passé.

jwsel
Jan. 29th, 2011 08:53 pm (UTC)
I think we can both agree we see the character very differently. I understand that you would write Shane differently in 2010. He would have been largely unaffected by his experiences between 1985 and 1992 (and later), and would have spent the better part of two decades beating himself up for not completely understandng Kim's MPD and sexual abuse. That's fine. But while you seem to be presenting your opinion of the character and how this story should be written as if it is objective fact, I don't see Shane that way. There is room for different perspectives on the characters and approaches to writing. There is no right or wrong.

I am curious to see what your Shane would be like in 2010, however. So if you have written a fic from your perspective, please link it here.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 1st, 2011 01:45 am (UTC)
There is no right or wrong but my version of the character would ignore Shane’s experiences from 85 to 92 and makes him whipped. You do have such a way with contradiction.

For the record, my comments were made because you've taken one side of Shane's personality and used it to supplant all the other sides. That is how you see him. That is your choice but if you're going to post it on a blog for the public to read, you're going to have to expect there will be those who will disagree with your perspective. Putting yourself out there invites criticism.

I haven’t written any Kim and Shane stories but this is one of my favorite stories and Shane’s character, while paying attention to Kim’s flaws and striving to protect her, hardly spent the intervening years beating himself up.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3909941/1/Remedy
jwsel
Jan. 24th, 2011 12:47 am (UTC)
(continuing from the prior comment)

I certainly did not intend for Shane's time sitting in the dark and cold overlooking the bay to make him seem like a spoiled teenager; I was trying to convey that he had to escape Kim and think so he could make a final decision about Kim. While there, he weighed his options: (1) to try to reconcile with Kim, which meant accepting and dealing with the pain that he had tried to bury after Kim left -- the pain he was feeling at that moment; or (2) to push Kim away for good. Shane decided he could not face the pain, so he chose 2 and pushed Kim away.

Also, I think the fact that Shane was feeling the pain when he was on the cliff illustrates how even that exchange with Kim was able to break through the walls he builds to suppress his emotions. That, imo, is markedly different than how he was able to almost completely avoid pain when he describes the mission.

As for Shane's failure to consider Kim's MPD or Phillip's behavior, I guess I have a few thoughts. With respect to the MPD, Shane never fully witnessed what Kim went through because he left Salem before the worst of it. He never saw Claire and, while he was baffled by the Lacey persona, he mostly saw that as Kim acting odd. More importantly, however, Shane did experience during his relationship with Kim the way she used sex with men as a way to feel validated when she was hurt. That happened with both Cal and Lawrence. So when she reveals that she is hurt by Phillip's actions and then tries to get Shane to sleep with her, I think it is somewhat logical that his mind flashed to Cal and Lawrence, and he equates her actions in 1995 as her reverting to that past behavior.

That does not mean Shane is right. These reflections are from Shane's point-of-view and he is reflecting on what he thought at the time. He may have been completely wrong, and the exchange was instead Kim's attempt (albeit a clumsy one) to really restore their relationship now that she has emotionally recovered from her MPD and has seen the mistake she made with Phillip. But this is Shane's viewpoint and he does not see it like that.

As a final matter, as the other poster points out, Shane is reliving this 1995 experience because he regrets his choice. It may have taken a year in prison and the likelihood that he will die in his escape attempt, but Shane's reflections have led him to realize that maybe his choices should have been different. I was trying to get across that if Shane knew what he knows now, he would have made a different choice in 1995.

Yet Shane also is a pragmatist. He realizes that he may have made the wrong decisions in hindsight, but he accepts that he thought they were right at the time and he cannot change them now. I think that was also illustrated in his regrets about Jeannie where he knows he made the "right" choices as a professional ISA agent, but also now understands how those same choices destroyed his relationship with his daughter. He knows he cannot change the past so he has to accept the consequences of those choices in the present.

Edited at 2011-01-24 01:32 am (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
(Anonymous)
Jan. 24th, 2011 03:11 am (UTC)
sorry for the double post. I don't see a delete button
jwsel
Jan. 24th, 2011 03:21 am (UTC)
I deleted the double-post. For anyone reading, the content is the same as the post from Anonymous on Jan. 24th, 2011 03:06 am (UTC).
(Anonymous)
Jan. 23rd, 2011 11:17 pm (UTC)
I would agree that the scene was described with no emotion, but Shane's thoughts indicate that was how he had to describe it. The previous chapter states:

"He probably had needed to talk, to let it out as if exorcizing the past. But the only way he could do that was to distance himself from the events. He had to describe things as if they happened to someone else."

As far as I know, that's pretty consistent with the way Shane seperates his emotions from his missions. And he wasn't ignoring the possible consequences, he specifically states that they all knew what the possible consequences were.

And the end of the chapter isn't Shane alone in the cold, it's him preparing to try to escape. And that's after he's thought about all the regrets he has and the chances he didn't take with Kim. His regret that his pride, his hurt, kept him from taking a risk that could have made his life so different. I don't see how Shane's feelings for Kim aren't 100% clear in these two chapters. She is the love of his life, but she is also the person who can hurt him the most.

One of the things that is most fascinating about Shane and Kim is that as much as the love each other, they had an unsurpassed ability to hurt each other. And those wounds ran deep for both of them. I think the author captures all of that wonderfully well.

(Anonymous)
Jan. 24th, 2011 03:14 am (UTC)
I dealt with most of what you said in my reply above, but two things.

And he wasn't ignoring the possible consequences, he specifically states that they all knew what the possible consequences were.

Shane said the girls were warned they’d have to have sex. He never said they were warned they might be gang-raped and from the way he told the story to Kimberly, it was obvious that was not considered. You want me to believe Shane Donovan would condone taking women into a situation knowing they would be gang-raped?

One of the things that is most fascinating about Shane and Kim is that as much as the love each other, they had an unsurpassed ability to hurt each other. And those wounds ran deep for both of them.

Unsurpassed implies they hurt each other more than any other couple portrayed on the show which is simply not close to being the case. They had limits. I don’t see the author understanding the ones that Kim and Shane exercised.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 24th, 2011 03:36 am (UTC)
I think Shane's comment implied that they all knew the possible consequences if things went bad. They were all experienced ISA agents, so I don't think anybody was naive. And whether that particular consequence was expressly anticipated or not, there's nothing that indicates Shane deliberately put two agents in a situation where he knew that would result, anymore than he deliberately put James in a position to be killed. It was a mission that went wrong, horribly wrong. And it clearly affected Shane deeply.

As for Shane and Kim, we see them differently, I suppose. I do think they hurt each other more than any of the other couples on the show, certainly more deeply and, often, more intentionally. They each had strong defense mechanisms and they seemed to be used to the most effect on the other. They may have had limits, but they were pretty broad ones. That's one of the things that made them so fascinating and different.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 25th, 2011 02:01 am (UTC)
You want it both ways and that brings us right back to my original point that Shane was both smart and experienced enough to know the possible consequences of dealing with the Russian mafia.

As for Shane and Kim, we see them differently, I suppose

It's not a matter of perception. Kim and Shane did not murder each other, Shane didn’t rape her, Kim would never have tried to murder Shane’s unborn children if he’d had any with another woman. Neither of them tried to drive the other crazy. I could go on if that is not enough evidence for you. Practically every couple written in the 70s caused each other more pain than this one did, let alone any other decade.

(Anonymous)
Jan. 25th, 2011 02:36 am (UTC)
Yes, I think Shane was smart enough and experienced enough to know that things could go wrong in horrific ways in this mission, or any mission. And, apparently, you think the fact that he took the mission had two female agents at risk makes him unrecognizable and out of character. I simply disagree. These were trained ISA agents who knew the risks going in. He didn't manipulate two innocent bystanders into helping him.

And, yes, you got me. I overstated my point in the previous response and engaged in a bit of hyperbole. I was thinking more specifically of the supercouples of the '80's and should have been much more specific in my response. But, I go back to what I said before. The way Shane and Kim could hurt each other despite how much they loved each other is, for me, a fascinating thing. It's very real and heart-wrenching. They are two complex and very interesting characters who, at their best brought so much love and often brought out the best in each other. Yet, because of their many wounds, they could also bring out the worst. It's a compelling and fascinating relationship.
(Anonymous)
Mar. 30th, 2011 06:10 am (UTC)
Question
Excellently written; you captured the characters superbly, as always. I'm curious, though, is this entry completely fan-written, or did some of these events actually happen, like Kimberly telling Shane she never loved Phillip? I never followed the show too closely after the final break up.
jwsel
Mar. 30th, 2011 06:35 am (UTC)
Re: Question
Thanks for the comment.

In response to your question, this entry is just my imagination. When Kim left Salem in 1992, she left with Phillip. I don't think they had married, but there were references to her being married on some of her returns. I don't think they specifically identified her second husband as Phillip, but I do believe they said her husband was unable to come with her at one point because he was working on a film. So that's why I assumed she had married Phillip. Her divorce was revealed on the show when Kim returned in June 2010 for Alice Horton's funeral and "reunited" with Shane.

In general, nearly all of the Shane and Kim stuff between 1992 and 2010 in the fic are my additions. The main exceptions are:

1) Shane was imprisoned in South America for awhile. The show did not say how long, but he did not know that Sami had a second child with EJ, so presumably it was more than a year. Victor was not involved in the imprisonment, and the details of his imprisonment were never explained (other than he was on a "fact-finding mission," was accused of being an assassin, and the ISA disavowed his mission). The first time Shane appeared in 2010 was when he was placed in the same cell as Rafe. When I manage to get some time to get back to the fic, the story and the events that were shown will overlap.

2) Kim was diagnosed with leukemia (off-screen). Bo matched as a donor and went to California to donate bone marrow. (This was done to get Peter Reckell off the canvas for a month so he did not run over his annual episode commitment.)

3) John was paralyzed, and he and Marlena went to Switzerland. His condition since they left has never been mentioned.

4) Kayla, Steve, and their baby, Joey, went to Africa where she ran a medical clinic.

5) Bo and Hope split up and he got together with Carly.

6) Most of the background Salem stuff at the beginning of the story: Caroline running the pub; Victor running Titan with Philip and Brady as his VPs; Philip being married to Melanie (though I broke them up before it happened on the show); Sydney's kidnapping (including the police finding the bloody clothes that were intended to make people think she was dead); Sami going back and forth between Rafe and EJ; and Bo being Police Commissioner and Roman being his deputy.

Most references to events that occurred before 1992 are usually based on the show. (I did fanwank how Shane managed to wake up in the wilderness in 1989 with amnesia a few weeks after "dying.")

I hope that answers your question. Thanks again for reading.
( 27 comments — Leave a comment )